114onefourteen.

18Jan08

a cult of germ-ridden youngsters, with their snotty fingers and toxic saliva, have finally decided to spread the fucking “super flu” to neighborhoods around the country. i’ve had a cough since christmas, and just recently developed this mutant-children-snot-virus because i apparently left my anti-children/snot hand sanitizer at home over the holidays. break out the pandemic preparations everybody, and get your custom protective face mask while you still can. this shit will FUCK YOU UP.

once you’ve got it, try this stuff:

-zicam nasal swabs
-a rugged game of basketball
-echinacea/goldenseal
-tea with 2 shots of rum
-boosting the heat
-eating an entire chicken
-nasal spray – mucinex/saline
-crying like a little baby
-asprin/fever reducer
-gypsy cold care tea
-vicks on yo feets (shelly’s cure)
-washing the children off your hands
-sneezing like a baby panda